Screenwriter Community |
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by Chase Carpenter (chasecarpenter@comcast.net)
Rated: 
Genre: Horror
User Review:  
A 70's style horror with a new age twist. A short 10 minute film style for a local festival
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
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TREPIDATION
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FADE IN:
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INT. LARGE BUILDING MIDDLE OF WOODS - NIGHT |
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NATE
(whispers to
himself)
This can't be happening... This
can not be happening. It is a
dream Nate, it is all a Dream. |
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NATE PEEKS AROUND THE SIDE OF BARN. MEGAN IS CURLED, CRYING |
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NATE
(relieved)
Megan, where the hell did everyone
go? |
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MEGAN CRIES HARDER |
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NATE
(holding megan)
Megan it's me Nate. Everything is
going to be ok. Where did everyone
else go?...Megan! |
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AS MEGAN LOOKS UP HER SADNESS TURNS TO COMPLETE FRIGHT |
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SCREEN QUICKLY GOES BLACK AND A SCREAM IS HEARD |
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INT. PAN OF A SCHOOL - DAY |
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CAMERA PANS IN SCHOOL AS THE BELL RINGS AND EVERYONE LEAVES |
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LANDS ON JOHN AND HIS GIRLFRIEND, THEIR CONVO RISES |
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JOHN
(cockily)
Yeah well, I have practice first.
Regionals are coming up and coach
is being an asshole |
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MEGAN
(up-beat)
O.k. hun. I have to go study with
Nathan anyway. Just give me a call
when you are going to pick me up. |
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2.
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JOHN
(under his breath,
disgusted)
Why do you hang out with that
loser? |
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MEGANS GLARE PIERCES THROUGH JOHN |
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JOHN
(apologetically)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He is just
kind of weird thats all. |
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MEGAN
Well weird is a good thing
sometimes John. |
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AS THEY KEEP WALKING CAMERA FOCUSES ON ABBY WALKING OPPOSITE |
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CAMERA FOLLOWS ABBY WHO IS READING AND ALONE |
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ABBY RUNS INTO JENNY BY MISTAKE |
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ABBY
(sarcastically)
Oh, I'm sorry. |
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JENNY AND HER FRIENDS SQUARE OFF TO ABBY |
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JENNY
(ditzy)
Well maybe you should watch where
you are going next time Angie. |
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ABBY
My name i... It's not even worth
it. |
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ABBY WALKS AWAY READING, ADAM COMES UP TO THE GIRLS |
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ADAM
(trying to be cool)
What's up ladies, you from out of
town? |
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JENNY
(angrily)
Eh, not in a million years |
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JENNY AND FRIENDS WALK OFF. NATE COMES UP TO ADAM |
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NATE
Maybe next time eh bro? |
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3.
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ADAM
(still trying to
be cool)
Maybe next time? She totally wants
me. You will learn some day Nate,
they play hard to get. |
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NATE
Oh, yeah hopefully I will. |
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SCENE FADES AS ADAM WALKS AWAY WITH NATE CLOSE BEHIND |
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INT. BASEMENT COMPUTER ROOM - DAY |
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MEGAN COMES IN. SNEAKS UP AND PUSHES NATE |
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MEGAN
(sneaking up
behind nate)
What's up loser? |
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NATE
(shyly)
Oh, ha. Hey megan. How are you? |
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MEGAN
(sits on couch)
I am fine. John has practice
though, so lets make this quick.
How about chemistry? |
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NATE
(lightening up)
Yeah Yeah. Ok. What cha... |
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BEFORE NATE CAN FINISH, THE LIGHTS FLICKER AND GO OUT |
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MEGAN
(jokingly)
Umm, what the was that? |
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THE LIGHTS GO BACK ON REVEALING AN EMPTY SPOT WHERE NATE WAS |
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MEGAN
(a little scared)
Hey, Nate? |
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4.
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NO ANSWER |
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MEGAN
(still scared)
Nate, stop playing around. Where
are you? |
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MEGAN GETS UP, WALKS AROUND TO HALL TO FIND AN OPEN DOOR |
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MEGAN WALKS UP QUIETLY TO THE DOOR, AND RIGHT AS SHE STARTS |
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TO GO AROUND |
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NATE
(suprising Megan)
Well, I don't know what that was
all about. |
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MEGAN
(startled)
Dammit Nate. You scared the hell
out of me. Where did you go? |
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NATE
(apologetic)
Oh I'm sorry. I went to check the
fuse box. For some reason it got
turned off... |
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DOORBELL RINGS |
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MEGAN
(happily)
Oh! That's probably John. I'll see
you tomorrow. |
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AS THE TWO WALK UPSTAIRS A DARK FIGURE IS SEEN IN BACKGROUND |
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INT. BUSY CAFE AROUND NOON - DAY |
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NATE IN CAFE BY A POSTER IS WATCHING LONGINGLY |
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MEGAN WALKS UP BEHIND NATE |
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MEGAN
(cheering nate up)
You can come with John and I if
you want. We aren't gonna stay the
whole time. Just show up, be seen
and leave. |
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5.
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NATE
(hiding his
excitment)
Oh, I wouldn't want to be a bother
to you guys. Something tells me
John doesn't like me very much. |
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JOHN WALKS UP |
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MEGAN
(to john)
Nate is going to be joining us at
Jenny's party |
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JOHN REALIZING IT IS AN ORDER NOT A CHOICE |
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JOHN
(hiding his anger)
Yeah ok. Your welcome to come dude |
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NATE
(excited)
OK, if you guys really don't mind.
I'll tag along |
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AS THEY WALK AWAY CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON THE POSTER |
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AFTER A PAUSE, THE POSTER IS SNATCHED BY GLOVED HAND |
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INT. LARGE HOUSE PARTY - NIGHT |
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JOHN AND MEGAN ARE IN BACKGROUND. NATE IS ON COUCH ALONE |
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MEGAN
(handing john a
drink)
Stop being so depressing Nate.
This is your time to get out
socially. That girl Abby over
there looks like she came alone.
Go for it |
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JOHN
(drunk as hell)
Yeha duude,go furit. |
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MEGAN
(mockingly)
I need to go watch this one. You
have a chance Nate. Take it |
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6.
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NATE FLIPS HAIR AND GOES OVER TO OTHER COUCH. SITS BY ABBY |
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MEGAN
(running up to
Nate)
Nate we gotta get out of here.
Cops are on their way. Someone
ratted the party out. |
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ABBY
(not even looking
at nate)
Don't even try it. |
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NATE
(jokingly)
Man, shes good. I didn't even say
anything. One thing. Why did you
show up? |
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ABBY
(still staring at
wall)
The best place to get a good laugh
on a Friday night is at a high
school party. Especially when
there are drinks. |
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NATE
Yeah I guess your right. |
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MEGAN
(running up to
Nate)
Nate we gotta get out of here.
Neighbors called the cops, they
are on their way. Come on, Abby
you can come with. We are going
back in the woods |
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THE FOUR INCLUDING A DRUNK JOHN, RUN OUT THE BACK INTO WOODS |
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SIRENS ARE HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND |
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THE GROUP LED BY MEGAN FINDS A SPOT BEHIND SOME BUSHES |
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MEGAN
(to the group)
Ok everyone, just stay down and
don't speak... Wait, where the
hell is John? |
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7.
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EVERYONE LOOKS AROUND FRANTICALLY |
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MEGAN
(calming herself
down)
He must have gotten picked up by
one of his friends or something.
Just stay here everyone. |
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AFTER A FEW MINUTES, A LARGE SPOT LIGHT SCANS THE WOODS |
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ABBY
(trying to hide
her fear)
We can't stay here... We have to
keep going. |
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MEGAN
(disappointed)
Dammit. You're right. Come on
everyone, lets go |
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EVERYONE TURNS TO LEAVE, THE GROUP GOES FARTHER AND FARTHER |
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SUDDENLY A MANS SCREAM IS HEARD |
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NATE
(scared)
What the hell was that? |
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ABBY
(scared)
I don't want to know |
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MEGAN
(trying to stay
positive)
Let's go find out. |
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THE GROUP WALKS TOWARDS THE PAINFUL SCREAMS TO FIND ADAM AND |
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JENNY. ADAM IS UP AGAINST A TREE HOLDING HIS ARM |
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AS THEY GET CLOSER, ADAMS WORDS BECOME AUDIBLE |
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ADAM
(screaming)
That wasn't the god damn police. |
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JENNY
(freaked out)
It must have been Adam. There is
no other expination. |
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8.
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ADAM
(screaming still)
A cop wouldn't try and kill me. A
cop wouldn't kill John. This
person came at me, and swung. I
doged it, but he sliced my arm on
the way out. When I looked back he
was standing over John in the
corner. |
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MEGAN
(starting to lose
her confidence)
Wait, John was in there? This guy
wasn't a cop? |
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JENNY
(freaking out)
He says that it was just one guy. |
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ADAM
(calming down a
bit)
It was just one guy, and he sure
didn't look like he wanted to help
John up. |
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NATE
(just staring at
his brothers
bloody arm)
Who could it have been? Why would
he go after you? Was he looking
for us too? |
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MEGAN
(in a calming
voice)
Nate calm down. Whether it was the
cops or not, we can't stay here.
Everyone follow me |
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THE GROUP HELPS ADAM UP, AND CONTINUES ON THROUGH THE WOODS |
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INT. LARGE BUILDING MIDDLE OF WOODS - NIGHT |
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JENNY
(worried)
Adam has lost a lot of blood. We
should rest here. |
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9.
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ADAM
(sarcastically but
weak)
Aww, you do care |
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JENNY BLUSHES, BUT ABBY INTERVENES |
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ABBY
(losing it)
Stop it you two! Now is not a time
to screw around. Some lunatic just
killed one of our friends, and for
all we know could be after us too!
If we are going to rest make it
quick. We have to find someone who
can help us |
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MEGAN
(trying to stay in
control)
Everyone just relax. Jenny and
Abby you come with me, we will try
and find some help. Nate you stay
with your brother. |
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JENNY
(worried)
What if that person really is
after us? Is it really a good idea
to split-up? |
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MEGAN
One way or another we have to find
someone. |
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ABBY
(reassured)
Ok, lets go |
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THE GIRLS GO OFF INTO THE WOODS AGAIN. NATE STAYS WITH ADAM |
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NATE
I'm really sorry bro. Can I do
anything for you? |
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ADAM
(cockily)
Not unless you happen to have some
morphine on you no. I don't know,
you were the boy scout. Make a
fire or something |
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10.
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NATE
Ok yeah... good, good idea |
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NATE RUNS OFF TO GET WOOD. ADAM WINCES IN PAIN |
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ADAM
(looking around)
This is not what I had in mind for
tonight. Maybe some girls, some
drinks and a good nights sleep.
Instead I get targeted by some
wacko with too much time on his
hands. |
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RIGHT AS ADAM FINISHES, A TWIG SNAPS IN THE WOODS |
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ADAM
Nate? Is that you? Did you get
some wood bro? |
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ADAM
Nate? Is that you? Did you get
some wood bro? |
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NO ONE ANSWERS |
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ADAM
(scared, louder)
Nate? Nate is that yergghhhh |
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BEFORE ADAM CAN FINISH, A LARGE HAND COMES DOWN AND GRABS |
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ADAM'S NECK STRANGLING HIM, THEN THROWING HIM TO THE GROUND |
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CAMERA ZOOMS OUT AS NATE COMES OUT OF FOREST WITH WOOD |
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NATE
I guess that survival stuff was
actually usefu... |
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NATE LOOKS UP AND SEES HIS DEAD BROTHER BEFORE HE CAN FINISH |
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NATE
(horrified)
Adam? ADAM! |
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NATE DROPS WOOD AND RUNS TO HIS BROTHER'S SIDE |
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NATE
(calm but
disturbed)
Adam, don't you be dead... Don't
you be dead dammit. |
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11.
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CAMERA FADES AS NATE HOLDS ADAMS HEAD IN HIS LAP |
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INT. DESERTED ROAD - NIGHT |
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ABBY
(hysterically)
Someone has to come along, soon
someone will come and this will
all be over |
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MEGAN
(losing it)
Abby we all have to calm down. We
don't know who or why this guy is
coming after us, and even if we do
find someone we have nothing to
tell them |
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JENNY
She's right. What are we going to
say, Some guy killed one of our
friends and now is after us but we
don't know why or what he looks
like? They will think we are
crazy. |
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REALIZING THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE SITUATION EVERYONE IS QUIET |
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AFTER AWHILE A CAR IS HEARD IN THE DISTANCE |
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ALL THE GIRLS STAND UP AND RUN INTO THE ROAD SCREAMING |
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THE CAR SLOWS DOWN AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE AWAY |
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JENNY
(confused)
What the hell is this guy doing?
Why did he stop? |
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THE ENGINE IN THE CAR REV'S LOUDLY |
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MEGAN
(screaming)
I don't think he wants to help us! |
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AS THE GIRLS TURN TO RUN, THE CAR SQUEALS TOWARD THEM |
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JENNY AND MEGAN DIVE INTO WOODS, ABBY FALLS HOLDING ANKLE |
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THE CAR HEADS STRAIGHT FOR ABBY, AT LAST SECOND CAMERA |
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12.
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GOES TO ASTONISHED MEGAN AND JENNY AS ABBY SCREAMS |
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MEGAN
(screaming)
Oh my god! Jenny come on |
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JENNY STARES BLANKLY FRIGHTENED STIFF |
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MEGAN
(pulling jenny)
Jenny come on, there is no chance
for her. We have to get moving |
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JENNY COMES TO, AND THE GIRLS RUN BACK TOWARDS BARN |
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HALFWAY DOWN THE ROAD, JENNY COLAPSES CRYING |
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JENNY
(bawling)
I can't do this anymore! Why did
this happen to us? Why me? Why? |
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MEGAN
(scared, but
calming)
I don't know Jenny. I just don't
know. This guy might be crazy, he
might think we are other people,
there are too many possibilites at
this point. |
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JENNY
(still crying)
Can I tell you something Megan? |
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JENNY
I'm not what everyone thinks I am.
I'm not some stupid blonde who has
been planning on living off of
Daddy until I find a rich husband.
I want to be independent, I want
to own my own business, I don't
want people to copy my every move.
That's why I looked up to Abby. I
loved that girl. She did what she
wanted when she wanted. I always
dreamed of having her life. Now,
she's gone. |
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13.
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MEGAN
We all secretly looked up to Abby
Jenn. Sure we didn't talk about it
for fear of our own reputations,
but we all felt it. |
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THE GIRLS GO SILENT |
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MEGAN
(standing up)
Come on, we should get going. |
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CAMERA FOLLOWS MEGAN AS SHE TURNS AWAY TO GET UP |
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RUSTLING IS HEARD. MEGAN TURNS AROUND QUICKLY |
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A LARGE MAN IS HOLDING JENNY IN A HEADLOCK. JENNY IS SQUIRMS |
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MEGAN
(falling backwards)
It's you... Oh my god, please.
Please don't do it. Jenny did
nothing to hurt you |
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MAN
(disfigured voice)
None of you did anything right?
You are all innocent. Just a few
teenagers having a good time
right? Wrong. |
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MEGAN
(stumbles to her
feet)
Please, I don't understand. Just
let her go and we can talk about
this. |
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MAN
(laughing)
Do you know what it is like
playing God? No you don't. He told
me the best way to bring you all
together was a day tainted by
blood. He was right |
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MEGAN
Who is he? Please just let her
go... PLEASE |
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14.
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THE MAN SMILES AND TWISTS JENNY'S NECK |
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THE MAN DROPS JENNY AND RUNS OFF INTO THE WOODS |
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MEGAN STARES AT JENNY THEN RUNS BACK TOWARDS THE BARN CRYING |
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INT. LARGE BUILDING MIDDLE OF WOODS - NIGHT |
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NATE
(whispering to
himself)
This can't be happening... This
can not be happening. It is a
dream Nate, it is all a Dream. |
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NATE PEEKS AROUND THE SIDE OF BARN. MEGAN IS CURLED, CRYING |
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NATE
(relieved)
Megan, where the hell did everyone
go? |
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MEGAN CRIES HARDER |
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NATE
(holding megan)
Megan it's me Nate. Everything is
going to be ok. Where did everyone
else go?...Megan! |
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AS MEGAN LOOKS UP HER SADNESS TURNS TO HORROR |
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MEGAN SCREAMS AND THE TWO JUMP OUT OF THE WAY OF AN AXE |
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MEGAN
(screaming)
It's him! I just saw him kill Abby
and Jenny. Why are you doing this? |
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NATE
It wasn't supposed to end up like
this? Why have you taken it this
far? |
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MAN
(voice distorted)
I am just doing what he told me to |
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15.
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MEGAN
(still backing up
with nate)
What are you talking about Nate? |
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NATE
(As the two back
up to a wall)
There wasn't supposed to be any
killing. He was supposed to just
get us together. |
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MEGAN
(astonished)
What the hell have you done Nate?
You set this up? What the hell are
you thinking? |
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NATE
(pleading)
It wasn't supposed to go this far,
only enough to scare everyone away
so I and save you and we could be
together |
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MEGAN SLAPS NATE HARD. NATE GRABS HIS FACE |
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MEGAN
(yelling at nate)
You hired this freak, you did this
Nate? I can't believe you! I hate
you Nate! I hate you! |
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NATE
(getting mad)
If that is how you want it then
fine. We could have been perfect
together. We could of had
something real. But no. You went
along with John that oaf. I didn't
want this to happen |
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THE MAN GRABS MEGAN BY THE THROAT, AND LIFTS HER IN THE AIR |
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THE CAMERA FOCUSES ON NATE THROUGH MEGANS DANGLING FEET |
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AS NATE TURNS AWAY, MEGAN FALLS AND A MANS SCREAM IS HEARD |
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NATE SPINS TO FIND HIS MAN WITH AN AXE IN HIS BACK |
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NATE
(suprised)
What the hell? |
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16.
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ADAM
(crawling to his
feet)
You're sick friend forgot to make
sure I was dead. Why the hell
would you do this? How could you
do this to your best friend? Let
alone me. You're not my brother
anymore. You're nothing to me. |
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ADAM PICKS UP MEGAN AND LIMPS OFF DOWN THE PATH |
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ONLY NATE'S OUTLINE CAN BE SEEN, RAISING A HAND TO HIS HEAD |
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THE SCREEN GOES BLACK AND A GUNSHOT IS HEARD |
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THE END |
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| Feedback |
| From Jackson |
Date 12/7/2007 |
0 stars |
| This was really bad. Of course no one saw the twist coming because it doesn't make any sense what so ever. Also, the format was all wrong. You don't write how the actor says each line. If you write well, the actors will figure it out themselves. Also, you used the wrong option for writing direction. |
| From james payton |
Date 4/4/2006 |
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| wow good job! I liked the story and the characters. |
| From Stefan Smith |
Date 2/28/2006 |
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| It was pretty good, but for now worry about the story, leave the camera angle stuff for later, I felt you spent more time on that then trying to devolop the story. |
| From rob |
Date 2/16/2006 |
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| ok, nothing special. grammar and spelling needs work. Too much on the nose dialogue. Some suspenseful parts, definitely needs a re-write and make it longer for a full length movie which will allow for character development. |
| From Glenn |
Date 2/16/2006 |
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| Its another horror story where a variety of 1 dimensioal characters are picked off for some reason. I am a horror fan but there was many different ways you could have improved it.
There is a lot missing as it seems to jump around alot and you really dont understand the characters, as you havent explained them properly.
The structure was very good, just needs alot of improvment. |
| From Christopher |
Date 2/16/2006 |
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| That was realy good! A good short film perfect twist at the end, I didn't see that coming!!! |
| From Julio Weigend |
Date 2/15/2006 |
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| Your story is somewhat good and you have few spelling errors, but you need to study on how to write a screenplay. Even with Scriptbuddy you still managed to mess up the format of your script. DON'T write the actions in caps. And sluglines (scene headings) merely tell the place we're in (Example: INT. HOUSE-DAY), not character emotions. Charaters, emotions (could be written in one or two words in parenthesis in the dialogue if you like) and actions are described in the action paragraphs. And just a suggestion, but maybe you should try lengthing it a bit after you correct your mistakes. |
| From Spencer LaPray |
Date 2/15/2006 |
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| Um, its fairly good... but it's not even long enough to be a half hour T.V. episode, get more story, more plot and it'll be a lot better. A typical screenplay for a movie runs 95-114 pages so ya... call it a first try.. i'm not sure, but keep trying cause it is not quite long enough, just brain storm more ideas to make it longer. |
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